Body Positivity is very important here at Green Mountain at Fox Run. In order to maintain our bodies properly, we’ve got to actually care about them! When we care, we show love through eating and moving our body in ways that feel best to us.
A lot of women, including myself, struggle with body hatred. It’s hard to love what we see in the mirror. But, it’s key to change the way you see, not the way you look.
You might think how do I even begin to rock the body I have, when I’m not an ideal size 4?
Positive affirmations and mantras do have their place in this adventure, but really….
it’s about decreasing criticism.
Let me say it again, decrease the criticism in your life.
That step alone can be much more powerful than positive fluffs that may seem initially fake.
Decreasing criticism can lead to body neutrality, and let me tell you, that is a good thing! Neutrality is a much healthier place than negativity or hatred/loathing.
Darla Breckenridge, the psychologist at GMFR, posed the question,
“When did you first start hating your body?”
For me, it was when I was four years old. Family members made joking comments about the size of my stomach, that I internalized deeply. There is a part of me that is still stuck there. The thoughts of “My body is not okay.” and “It’s okay to make negative comments about my body.” are still very ingrained in me. That four year old part is stuck in trauma. Maybe not tsunami trauma, but trauma, nonetheless.
I’ve been working on trauma for the past few months. Trauma gets you stuck. It gets lodged into my 4-year old self, and it gets triggered every time I look into the mirror or when someone makes a bad body-thought.
I have a lot of trouble sitting with my trauma, or exiled parts. It’s hugely uncomfortable for me to be with it. Because I avoid it at all costs, I have a firefighter in my system that helps me avoid it.
This firefighter is also known as food. Food is my coping mechanism for trauma.
I’ve been working on being with the exiled part for a few moments, and the coming out of it. If I sit too long with it, I shut down and disassociate.
So, I work on going in and out of it, taking breaks when needed.
My 4-year old part needs reparenting. It needs kindness. It needs another chance at a childhood.
When my 4-year old child gets triggered, I need to be ready! It WILL happen! I need to have words ready to go when the criticism comes up, so that I might be able to create new neuro pathways.
“I am more than my reflection.” “My stomach is worth of love.”
Another strategy for me is focusing on what my body can do, as opposed to what it looks like.
Finally, we can bring compassion to our 4-year old parts through having a power word. Mine is VIBRANT, btw.
Ask yourself some questions…
1.) Think about your inner child that was traumatized. How would you talk to her?
2.) What did my body just do for me today? (Or even my stomach!!)
3.) Have I identified any negative talk directed at my body? What did I say in response?
Above all, practice the shift away from negativity, and flow into neutrality.