Battling With The Scale

What’s your relationship like with the scale?

I’ve been jumping on the scale every single chance I get. I’m so worried that I’m gaining weight. I’m not worried about losing right now.

I sobbed about it in my eating group, and made a very definite decision not to weigh myself until November 1st.

Well, of course, the very next day I WEIGHED MYSELF AGAIN!

The scale is the first thing you see when you go into the women’s locker room. I can’t avoid the locker room because I often change/shower there.

I managed to walk right on by the scale for about a week. Well, this time, I wasn’t able to resist the urge to weigh.

And, I’m up two pounds.
It’s not a catastrophe, but it feels like it.

In the scheme of all things, it is not a big deal. But, I’m heartbroken.

These are my feeling parts being activated:
MAD, SAD, SCARED, TICKLED (about how upset I am! I find myself slightly giggling), UPSET

If I infused mySELF with my inner wise woman she might say,
“It’s okay. You are still amazing. You are still loved. You are on a journey. It’s going to be all right.”

Somehow, by checking my weight so frequently, I thought it would somehow undo the so-called damage (really a lesson!!) that all my overeating has taken on my body.

I know that doesn’t make sense, but that’s what was going on in my head.

The truth is, weighing myself every 3-4 weeks feels like a better match for me. I have a medical condition that I use as an excuse as to why I need to monitor my weight. I’m not ready to ditch weighing, but I really need a break. But will I actually take one?

My weight is not an indicator of the progress I’ve made in pursuing health and intuitive eating/living.

I think it all comes down to not really trusting my body to find its healthy weight on its own.

On another note….
I took my two favorite exercise classes tonight, right after my 2 pound gain showed on the scale.
I almost didn’t complete both classes, because I was so upset. But, as I began exercising, I kept looking in the mirror and noticing how freaking awesome I looked doing tricep push-ups, and tricep dips. (ok, there were other moves that were not as flattering, hahaha.)

So what does it all mean?
It means, continue to show myself compassion. Continue to sit with alleged food cravings, because I am a new person, and I can battle through them. It just takes a few horrible moments to get back to feeling good about the way I use food again. Continue to trust this amazing body I’ve been gifted with while on Earth. Continue to respect and take care of it in a manner that is joyful.

So, tell me about your scale woes/scale parties…. How do you achieve balance?

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Learning to savor food, yoga, & life.
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7 Responses to Battling With The Scale

  1. You are not alone! I battle the scale on a daily basis as well. However, I have made some progress. I used to weigh myself every day ( and let that determine too much about how I felt about myself), to once a week. Baby steps. Because I know it shouldn’t define me!

  2. Excellent post! I have the same battle, and it causes more anxiety than I’d like to admit. I’ve started hiding my scale. Any time I pull it out to weigh in, I prepare myself for an unreasonably high number, so I will feel relieved by what I actually weigh. I still am affected by any gains, and overly excited by loss. I hope someday to be comfortable with my body, regardless of the number on the scale. -C

  3. Debbish says:

    The scale is my enemy. (Full stop!) I’m so far from my goal weight that in some way the numbers on the scale are meaningless. When I’m trying to lose weight I’m on the scale obsessively – particularly the night before a weigh in and then that morning etc. When I’m gaining weight I don’t even want to see a set of scales.

    Deb

  4. Sue Ellen says:

    I used to weigh myself 8-10 times a day (including in the middle of the night, if I woke up to go to the bathroom). At least four of those were before I even left for work in the mornings. The number on the scale determined my mood for the day, and often determined how I would eat – ie, I’d eat less if it was a ‘bad’ number. The crazy thing is, I’d often eat less if it was a ‘good’ number too, because I didn’t want to undo the good work I’d supposedly done.

    I knew the scales weren’t doing me any favours, so I cut down the weighing to once a day. But even then, the scales had a huge influence on my mood. And I realised they didn’t fit with my intuitive eating journey. This is supposed to be about nourishing my body (and soul) with what it needs, without ANY dieting habits or rules, and trusting my body to find its own healthy weight. That means it doesn’t matter what the scales say – because if my body’s healthy weight happens to be heavier than I’d like, the scales aren’t going to help me accept that. They’re going to keep me trapped on the dieting treadmill (even if I call it something else), and keep me unhappy with who I am. So, in July I threw my scales in the bin and watched the rubbish truck take them away. And it was HARD. I have no clue what I weigh now, and sometimes I hate that. After years of restricting and bingeing, my body is still settling in to being fed well and moving enjoyably, and that means my weight goes up and down as my body adjusts. I can feel that in my clothes and that makes me want to weigh myself, but I know it won’t do me any good. It will make me focus on the number, not on how my body feels. I walk past the scales at the gym and I want to weigh myself, but I have to resist. Because I’m worth so much more than the number, and I deserve to be free of the anxiety and stress that the scales cause. We all do.

  5. Maura says:

    I too, became, overly influenced by the scale. Down a few lbs? Eat to celebrate! Up a few lbs? Eat to mourn my failure. I weighed myself daily and sometimes twice daily. And then I stopped all together. That wasn’t quite the balance I needed. I tried weekly. That was still too often. Monthly was too infrequently. I now weigh myself on the first Monday and the 17th of each month. That’s it. I don’t really like the number right now. But I’m not the number. Thanks so much for this post. I needed the reminder!

  6. sambangs says:

    I used to be a slave to the scale; and the more I fretted, the more I hung on to or even gained. I haven’t weighed myself in almost 2 months and it’s totally liberating. I’m letting the way my clothes fit tell me what’s up 🙂

  7. Pingback: Happy, Regardless of Size | eatingasapathtoyoga

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