I’m Not Going to Stop Weighing

I think I know why I’m freaking out about the scale.

I avoided the scale for years.

Because I was told it was the nondiet way.

But, following the nondiet way,
the way it’s “supposed” to be….
has never worked for me.

I have to find my own path.

In the past, when I was trying to follow the rules… (I don’t care if Geneen Roth calls the holy guidelines “WHAT WOULD LOVE SAY” ~screw it)

I didn’t weight myself. FOR YEARS.
And the weight piled on.
and on.

I did it partly to be a good girl and be a good nondieter.
But, I also did it to avoid the fact that I was overeating. I was binge eating. I was numbing out.

I did it to avoid the reality of what my painful actions were doing to my size.
And that is why I cannot give up the scale for right now.

For me in this moment, not weighting means avoidance behaviors.

I’m sure this is all contradicting myself in some way. But, I’m okay with that. It’s just an expression of where I am at today.

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About eatingasapathtoyoga

Learning to savor food, yoga, & life.
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8 Responses to I’m Not Going to Stop Weighing

  1. good work jill. that makes sense to me, and it follows with my experience. so for us at least it makes sense. guess it doesn’t have to make sense to others who aren’t where we are!!!!

  2. I think this is a great reflection. For some people the scale is addictive and promotes food restriction. For some people, it can be more devastating than it is effective. On the other hand, avoiding the scale can cause some of the same effects, or like you said, can cause avoidance behaviors. Do whatever works best for you!!!

  3. Wendy Rossmo says:

    Absolutely love it!!! Just adore your posts!

  4. We are all on a journey to figure it out! And it is okay to sort it out in front of the world….those who are on your side will support you. Those who (if you have any trolls) are unsupportive are on their own journey and it has nothing to do with you =0)

  5. Charlotta says:

    I know I am certainly avoiding the scale so I don’t have to see the weight gain. But I also know the crazy weighing I’ve have done on my diets. Then the confirmations of loosing weight is the my only worth on earth. Hopefully one day I will be able to have the scale as a neutral tool. But I am not there yet. I am avoiding for now and I am trying to be kind to myself about it.

  6. I always think you have to do what works for you. Take a little of this concept, a little of that and make up your own thing!

  7. Sue Ellen says:

    It’s your journey. You need to do what’s right for you, right now. If that changes later, that’s okay. Life is flexible. 🙂

  8. Maura says:

    I love that you’ve decided to do something you feel you need to do despite feeling like it may be an action contrary to your non-diet lifestyle. I’m all for using a tool to help me keep track of how well I’m doing when it comes to taking care of myself. Let’s face it – we’ve had years of not taking the best care of ourselves. It takes time and patience to change that and I know for me, taking note of my successes in the process will be vital to continued progress.

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