I know it’s never about the food, but sometimes in the moment, it feels like it is. It’s about how much joy a sour cream potato chip can bring to my tongue. But, it’s never about the food.
I screamed out in the middle of my food group, “I know it’s not about the food! BUT I JUST WANT TO STOP EATING!”
Of course it’s about a deeper layer of emotions, but I had no interest in exploring THAT. I just wanted to stop the madness. But unfortunately, how often I forget that in order to tackle the madness, I have to uncover the scary-ness of exiled feelings.
I want to ask myself, “What is this food doing for me in this moment?” But, I haven’t been able to slow down enough to do that.
It has been suggested that all my crazy eating is about having lost so much weight and being scared. I know I definitely feel a lot more safe when I am bigger. So, I will have to ponder that awhile. The last time I lost 60 lbs through dieting, I got super depressed, and gained it all back plus 15 lbs. This time will be different though, because I haven’t dieted, and because I’m a wiser woman now. I hope it will be different. It helps to have a possible cause.
I was actually excited to have a reason for the chaos.
I know it’s not about the food.
But, just because you have a very wise, maybe even good reason to use food, it’s not the magic wand to stopping the usage of it.