Sometimes feeling your emotions sucks really bad.
I got some really bad news today. Well, at least it is really bad in my head. I’m really awesome at catastrophizing situations, so we will see.
At first, I wanted to handle the situation right away. So, I called a few higher ups and acted really tough, but nothing was resolved. Left some more voice mails. Almost started crying on one of them, but held it together.
Almost made a crazy decision to add upheaval to my day by trying to bring some resolution, but I sat back and though, “What a great opportunity to sit with my feelings!”
Well, that was my Inner Compassionate Curious Self saying that.
My manager part was saying, “We really need to work hard to handle this and get it done.”
My worried part said, “You can’t handle this. This is too much.”
My firefighter part said, “Let’s eat. Even better yet, let’s binge! Quick let’s numb it out. C’mon!!!”
I feel the stress in my shoulders and in my stomach. Although, I’m also physically hungry. I’ve waited too long to eat breakfast. (A rarity for me.)
I’m thinking deep breathing, eating breakfast, being with people (and not cocooning), & a good night’s sleep might be in order. OOOH, exercise, too!
Binge eating would feel so good in the moment. But, I don’t want those behaviors in my life any more. Even if it sucks to feel, I don’t want to wake up from a nightmare with time gone by and wrappers everywhere.