Happy, Regardless of Size

As I’ve posted about before, I have been compulsively weighing myself. I talked about it with my helping professional. She suggested that I stand on the scale and say to myself, “This is how I get my self-worth.” Kinda shocking, right?

So…. I tried it! I weighed myself the very next day. I was very disappointed by the number. And I said to myself, “This is how I get my self-worth.”

I haven’t weighed myself again in two weeks.


I decided that…

1.) I don’t really care too much whether I’ve gained two or three pounds. In fact the average woman has a daily weight fluctuation of 2 to 6 lbs.

2.) Every time I get the urge to weigh myself, I need to just sit with those feelings, inquire within, and see what is REALLY going on. It’s just like with binge eating, if I sit through the feelings of wanting to binge, it WILL go away. I just need to be patient, brave, and curious.

Well, I had an opportunity to test this out yesterday. I was having a pretty great day, realizing that life is quite good for me right now. I felt *HAPPY*. So, naturally I thought, “I should weight myself!” I had pretty much convinced myself I was going to do that. Then I realized I needed to be with these feelings, and use them as a mirror to see what was going on in my inner world.

I don’t need a scale to confirm that I am happy. I can be happy at any size.

Happiness is quite separate from how much I weigh.

I started chuckling and thanked my inner world for delivering the much needed wisdom.

How do YOU unhook weight and happiness?


About eatingasapathtoyoga

Learning to savor food, yoga, & life.
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16 Responses to Happy, Regardless of Size

  1. Leslie Neshama says:

    For now, I am clear that weighing myself does not, ever, bode well. So I am assigning it to All-or-Nothing Land: just not weighing myself. I am trying to live my life with a sense of beauty and happiness. I’ll be darned if an inanimate object (a scale) will disrupt my fragile peace. ~~Please write more about sitting through negative emotions, and through binge urges. Thanks from my grateful <3.

  2. Sarah says:

    SO GRATEFUL that the batteries in my scale are dead – so that weighing myself isn’t an option – I haven’t weighed myself in 5 months and it’s really freeing. I’ve been on my IE journey for 4ish months and one thing that has kept me sane has been NOT having the scale to prove whether I’m good or bad, or to lament that yes in fact I am gaining weight. My clothes tell me whether or not I’m gaining/losing weight and that’s enough for me. The numbers on the scale are JUST like calories – man-made and don’t define the quality of the person or the food.

  3. Kara says:

    I look for progress rather than an individual weigh in since water retention and bowel movements can affect the number on the scale. I don’t freak out if I’m up by a few pounds in a week. Usually that means I had more processed food during the week (which I don’t usually eat) and/or there is still food in my digestive system.

    I weigh myself once a week so my imagination doesn’t start to run away with me and I won’t be shocked by the number on the scale; which I felt anytime I didn’t weigh myself for long periods of time.

    I think your idea to sit with the urge to weigh yourself is a good one; I do that with food. Feel the anxiety and eventually it passes. It always does!

  4. Erika says:

    I’m still working on unhooking the weight, appearance and happiness. It’s hard! Posts like this help so much.

  5. Nancy says:

    Someone once told me, “When you step on the scale, either way you lose.” I’m good with ignoring it if I am feeling like I’m not making progress, but when I think I’m doing well, I seem to need some validation. If I was single, there wouldn’t be a scale out where I could see it all the time, but someone else in the house seems to think he needs to check in with it. (The same someone who can lose 10 pounds in a week without even trying — darn him.) I have to fix my diet mentality before I go after his! Anyway, I’m trying to unhook. Reading your blog helps a lot!

  6. missymiller says:

    So glad I found your blog today. (YAY!)
    These words will be sticking with me for …probably forever.

    “I just need to be patient, brave, and curious.”

    Wow. Patient, brave, curious.

  7. Debbish says:

    I noticed your response to the first comment about IE – gaining weight initially. Did it take a long time (months / years) to learn how to listen to your body etc?

    • Yes, it really did. It’s been about a 5 year process. For awhile I used IE as a way to gain permission to binge. You know the whole eat what you want deal? But, I was only eating what my mind wanted, and not my whole body. Binge eating and compulsive overeating complicate things when you are trying to normalize your relationship with food. I’m very stubborn, too, and not open to change, so that definitely got in the way. For most people, it does not take the amount of time it took me. I’m an unusual/tough case.

  8. I was diagnosed with a medical condition in October, which explained why I haven’t been able to lose weight even with a strict diet and exercise. I would be lying to say that I’m not anxious to see how much weight I lose with my treatment (which is pretty much guaranteed), but I refuse to get on a scale becuase I don’t want to obsess over it. I have a hard enough time not letting my clothing size define me, and I can’t let that obsession turn into a number that changes so easily.

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