Broken Glass & Shattered Memories
Yelling, Screaming, Anguish
A church meeting about six years ago.
I cannot tell you the heartbreak I endured as Christian men and women, whose children I had grown up with, whose leadership in the church was greatly admired and respected, did battle with each other.
Met with Stares and Ambivalence
I was seeking safe people within a small group Bible study.
To my surprise, these women, with whom I’d “done life with” were unreceptive, shallow, & curt in their responses.
These situations lead me to falsely believe that Christians are DISINGENUOUS people who will always let you down.
When I teach the skill of fact and opinion to my third graders, we look out for black and white words like ALWAYS, NEVER, & EVERYBODY.
But somehow …
In my thinking …
I overlooked what I teach on a regular basis.
It’s like that taking the yoga off the mat idea.
It doesn’t always happen.
Oops there’s that always again.
The fact is that Christians are Messy. The fact is that some Christians are authentic, and some are not. Some want to be, but don’t know how because that was never modeled for them.
The fact is that Christians have passionate disagreements that cause them not to want to worship together anymore.
For some reason after that church meeting, a part of my perfect childhood dream in my head died. The dream of: I had the perfect church experience. The dream of: all of my childhood heroes would worship together here on Earth indefinitely together.
Did the lies keep me hidden? Or did the lies cause me to hide?
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
I believe that God came to save the Messy. But what I mean by messy is: the poor, the addicted, the handicapped. Not: the mean-spirited, the cheaters, & the liars.
But, He came to save everyone.
Part of Christianity is accepting that you will never be perfect this side of heaven. I really have no issue with that. I’m with myself 24:7, so I completely understand that while I strive to my like Christ, I’m not actually going to be LIKE him until I am with Him.
What about accepting that OTHERS (even faith giants) will never be made perfect this side of heaven?
The church is made up of other messies just like me.
Writers Note: This post was partially inspired by Mike Yaconelli’s Messy Spirituality, which I read a number of years ago.